Things they don't tell you before you have kids

Oh sure, when you're pregnant you'll get a multitude of people come up and tell you what a blessing and how much fun the kids are going to be.  If you're a first time mommy, you might still look around on a sunday at all the perfectly coifed children and those families that all the children are perfectly reverent and think to yourself that that's exactly how you're family is going to be.  Or maybe you see those kids on sunday that have the stained shirt, one shoe off and the other on, the mom has to haul one child out mid prayer kicking and screaming, the kid's hair all looks fuzzy, and boy are they irreverent....... I'm guilty BEFORE my kid came along, of thinking, "Well, gosh. My kids will NEVER be like that."  Haha, let me tell you what people just don't tell you before these kids come along.

• They will ruin everything you own.  SERIOUSLY!! 
• Scriptures are used for ripping out the pages.
• Crayons or markers are dangerous, very dangerous!
• No matter how many onesies you own, every single one of them will be stained.
• Juice boxes usually just like to be squeezed to see how high the drink can "fountain" out of the straw
• Don't leave a diaper off for even 10 seconds..... they will pee all over your new carpet
• Do not leave a CD player within reach of the child..... they will either break it or break any CD inside the player.
• Some kids just refuse to go to nursery........ probably will still have ot sit with him in class when he's 14, the rate we're going
• You will have to pull off every crust before that kid even touches it.
• The day you decide to clean your couch cover (because it's in desperate need and you're having some friends over in a couple days) is the day your little guy has a runny nose and will wipe boogers all over it...... or he'll get an "oowwwie" that needs a bandaid and little cream stuff that helps with bacteria.... before the bandaid is even on he'll twist away and wipe all the cream all over the couch.  It's also the day your "big baby" (the husband) accidentlayy spills his whole plate of dinner all over the couch. 
• If you get in teh habit of letting him sleep with you, he'll never want to sleep alone again. EVER!!!!! Then he'll take up the whole bed
• He'll tear apart your most favorite cookbooks, photo albums and anything else he can get ahold of
• If you start praising him for "being a big helper" for throwing something away for you,he'll purposefully rip out all the pages in his story books just so he can show you what a big helper he is by throwing them away too.
• That new shiny baby grand you got.......... chocolate stained keys every couple days and fingerprints galore
• Doing the dishes should be renamed to "taking a shower" when the kids help
• Flour buckets need padlocks
• you give the kid rice and measuring cups to play with on a blankie and the rice WILLLLL end up over every square foot of the room you're in..... and the next room.

Many, many more..... and I may or may not have experience with EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. of these things. haha.  So I have..... I love my little guy to the moon and back.  I wouldn't trade him for squeeky clean furniture, or belongings that keep intact, or even to have my own bed back.  He makes my life fun!  In the midst of everything, he really reminds me it's not about the things we have anyway.  It's about relationships, and love..... and eating dessert before dinner (because he saw it on the counter and refused to eat anything but the caaaccaaa/chocolate)!  I'm so blessed!